Getting through the first trimester.

I joined Emma's Diary when my wife was 15 weeks pregnant, and we've had a few milestones since then, I thought I'd go back to the beginning to give you all a bit of background..


I remember the exact moment I found out I was going to be a Daddy again. It was 5.30am on 26th August 2011. I recall having a real feeling of being watched invading my sleep. I opened my eyes slowly to see a very awake wife looking at me. I patted her as a sort of 'Alright? '. She was holding something very tightly, and she pushed it into my hands. I woke up pretty damned quickly when I realised I was holding a pregnancy test, I held it up to my eyes, it was a big fat positive! Loz had woken up feeling very queasy and as this was a bit unusual taken a pregnancy test. Safe to say, neither of us went back to sleep!

We decided we wanted to let very close family and friends share in our good news, obviously if the worst were to happen it would be good to have their support. Loz did another handful of tests just to confirm, and they were all positive, with the Clearblue Digital saying that we were "3+ Weeks" through. A week or so later we had to register with our local GP to get those wheels in motion, the GP wanted to do another pregnancy test (apparently they test EVERYONE).

It was a very weird time, it's tricky not to be excited and thinking about how different life could be in 8 short months, but you also have to keep a level head and remember that it might not 'stick' (I hate that phrase, but Loz used it a lot!). Symptoms wise Loz was suffering with all the standard ones. As I've said before she wasn't actually sick very much at all, but the nausea just hit at very random times. My usually chatty wife would fall silent and go very white, usually followed by a quick sprint to the nearest toilet until it passed.

The symptom that hit her the hardest was the tiredness, it really was peculiar, usually after we'd eaten, around 7pm, she just wanted to sleep. So for the first 3 months from about 7.30pm onwards I'd be on my own pottering around while Mrs H was spark out upstairs. Whilst I mostly appreciated the extra time to prestige several times on Black Ops, it was a very lonely period. I did occasionally have a ping on Google Talk from Loz at around 9pm when she asked if I could fetch her a hot water bottle, but more often than not she'd be back to sleep again after the kettle had boiled!

The frustrating thing I found was I could really do much to help, you can't ease the need to sleep, or take the pain and sickness away, you just have to stand by and watch, hoping that it will all come together and it will 'stick' *shudder*. The only comfort was that each passing week meant we were slowly creeping out of the crucial first trimester.

Around 8 weeks we went to our local hospital to meet our midwife for our 'booking in' appointment with her. She asked us both a tonne of questions about our medical history and had a few pokes and prods of Lorraine and deemed the pregnancy to be 'low risk' (Hooray!) We left the hospital with the cursory bag filled with free samples and load of leaflets to peruse, it was starting to feel very, very real now.

The letter arrived with the date of the scan soon after, just 3 weeks till we'd finally get to see our 'Baby Mosster', and hopefully find out all was well. The symptoms slowly started to ease up at this point, they were all still there, but levelling out slightly, it meant we could start doing some walking or even go out in the evening. Us both working from home was helpful too as Loz could have a power nap in her lunch hour which would give her a little 'top up' to at least see the evening.

The day of the scan arrived, I was very nervous, I wanted to see a healthy 'mosster' on the screen, with a nice strong heartbeat, and thankfully, that's what we saw,  a beautiful fidgeting baby with everything as it should be and a very visable heartbeat. It was so clear, I remember being amazed seeing G for the first time nearly 9 years ago, but obviously that's a very long time in technology! The movement was so apparent and vivid it was such a relief to see!

After 9 weeks of uncertainty it was excellent to know that the first trimester was over and we could start letting everyone know our good news!

Time to find out if it's Pink or Blue!

Last week was our 20 week scan. It was originally due to be in a few days, but we wanted to be able to take DD along with us so thankfully the hospital managed to move the appointment. DD did feel slightly put out that she was one of the last people to hear about the baby, so we wanted her to be one of the first people to 'see' it.

I knew that I wouldn't be allowed into the first part of the of the scan, this is something I didn't know the first time round and I felt slightly put out that I wasn't allowed in! So DD and I waited patiently to be called into the room. I must admit I felt nervous, although everything is going well and Loz can feel the baby fidgeting, this is the 'Anomily Scan' and I was hoping everything was okay, I think it's natural to be concerned.

The sonographer came out and called DD and I in--this in itself was a relief as I don't imagine I'd be called in if something was amiss. We went into the room to find Loz lying down, the sonographer put the scanner back on her tummy. The screen filled up with baby,  moving around like crazy, it stopped for a moment, bent in half with its feet by its head. Georgia was amazed, her little face beaming as the baby squirmed around it was all very clear and the sonographer was explaining it all.

Then the moment came "Are you sure you all want to know what the sex is?" asked the sonographer. We all replied "Yes!" and the sonographer moved the scanner around to find the crucial area. She froze the picture on the screen. It was immediately clear what it was, but the sonographer explained "Well we can never be 100% correct but, er, there's definitely some bits and pieces there..."

"You're having a boy"


Loz was shocked, she was convinced it was going to be a girl. All I could muster was...

"I KNEW IT!"

DD was peering at the paused screen, "Is that his winky?" she asked. I told her it was and she giggled. DD and I had a hug whilst the sonographer printed off one of the images. Whilst I wasn't overly bothered either way about the sex it was nice to see that everything was healthy, the sonographer said that the  measurements were spot on, although the tummy was a bit podgy (takes after Daddy!).

So that's it, the last time we see the baby until April, although that sounds like a long time, I think it will fly!

Telling your first born there is going to be a newborn

I've got an eight year old daughter from my previous marriage and neither I or her Mum have had any other children. DD has always wanted a brother or sister. When we moved earlier in the year to a larger house, one of her first questions was 'which one will be the room for the baby?'  She looked disappointed when we told her the spare room was going to be an office.

When we found out my wife (Loz) was pregnant just a few months later, one of my first thoughts was 'when and how do I tell my daughter she won't be an only child any more?' We decided the 'when' should be after the 12 week scan because that way we'd have a better idea if everything was well and the baby was healthy. She'd be devastated if we told her too early and then found out something was wrong. It was difficult keeping the news a secret though, aside from the excitement of it all, Loz really didn't have the easiest of first trimesters.

She really was hit by extreme waves of tiredness.  Some nights she was in bed by 8pm and just looked so worn out the whole time. There wasn't much sickness for her though, just really bad nausea that seemed to hit very randomly leaving her looking very queasy and needing to stop whatever she was doing until it passed. DD is very aware of people and their feelings and emotions, and she did seem to notice that something was amiss. She only lives with us at the weekend so whilst Loz tried to put a brave face on the symptoms it wasn't easy to hide.

Loz was only actually sick a handful of times, one of those was one busy Sunday Morning. DD was fairly shocked at Loz being sick so 'randomly'.  She came to me and said 'Dad, I think Lozzie is being sick. What's wrong with her?'  I just mustered the excuse it must've been something she ate and thankfully she didn't question it much further.

The 12 week scan arrived and all was well, so we were finally able to break the news to her, but how?

We did toy with the idea of giving her a card 'from the baby', but with her being eight, she would probably be more concerned about the 'mechanics' of how that might work rather than the sentiment behind it. So we thought we'd give her a card from us, with a copy of the scan of the baby inside for her to keep and look at when she wanted to. I was expecting we would have to 'Moonpig-it', as I thought a 'You're going to be a big sister' card might be a bit too specialist for the High Street - I was wrong!  We picked up this in Clintons.

It was perfect!

So the big day arrived.  It was the day of Loz's birthday which was the first time we'd seen DD since the scan.  After giving Loz her present it was time to give DD the card.  She looked very puzzled and said,

"It's not my birthday."

She opened it and read the front.

"What? Eh?" she mused.

Without missing a beat she opened the card and looked at the scan that was stuck inside.

"Uuuuuurrrrrggggh what's THAT!?"

Not the reaction we hoped for, but to be fair to most children (and a lot of adults) a scan is a bit of a weird looking thing!

"That's er.." *fighting back tears* "your baby brother or sister" I choked out.

DD looked even more confused, she looked at the scan, looked at Loz's tummy, looked back at the scan, looked at Loz, looked at me.

"You're going to be a big sister" - and with that I felt a tear sliding down my cheek.

She was visibly shocked, and taken aback by the news but she slowly came round to it all.  She's never really been one to whoop and scream with excitement, but the massive smile and hugs showed she was pleased. After we had our moment I went to make a cuppa, although DD warned me - 'Don't make Lozzie's too hot, it'll burn the baby' with a very serious look on her face. I left Lozzie to explain that babies aren't in 'that' tummy.