If you know me in real life, you’ll know that I’m quite quiet, I’m very passive in social situations. Loz jokes that we’re ‘Penn and Teller’, she’s the loud, gobby one, I just smile and nod (and whisper stuff in her ear) – perhaps Sooty and Sweep is a better comparison?
This does change slightly when I’ve had a few drinks, my natural guard comes down, and I feel more relaxed in my own skin. I swear a lot, I shout a bit, I’m cheeky – nothing like the wretched withering wreck I feel like most of the time.
Something is changing in me though, I can feel it deep inside.. I feel..
Not in an annoying full of myself way, just in a ‘I’m not that bad really’ kind of way. It’s tiny, weeny baby steps, but I feel better about ME.
I firmly believe this is down to blogging, and becoming part of the community. I use to hide behind my keyboard, any confrontations or issues were put in a strongly worded blog, or email. I could hide so easily this way – when I’m frustrated or upset I stammer slightly, the cutting words I’d eloquently plotted in my brain just can’t couldn’t get out. Writing it down was so much easier.
Blogging has introduced me to a massive range of people, from all walks of life and as I try to attend events I *have* to meet them, I *have* to talk to them. Being forced into social contact has been incredible for me, there’s no hiding behind a screen, I’m there, I *have* to do something. It’s not always easy to strike up a conversation with someone you’ve never met, or perhaps just read their blog – but there is a bit of common ground. Blogging!
As this post is published, I’m in a Tube train, heading to Euston, for a train to Liverpool. I’m attending a JBL event, I’ll explain more later, but the thing is, a year ago, I wouldn’t be doing this. I’m on a train, away from my friends and family, meeting a tonne of new people (mostly press and PR) and spending a night away from home on my own. A year ago I’d be terrified, I’d probably be thinking of an excuse not to go, but I’m here, at 00.02 actually excited by it all.
The only person I know out of everyone there is the PR, I’ll have to talk to, interact with a metric fucktonne of new people. I’ll have to tuck away the bashful, stammering, useless Kip and ensure the happy, noisy, cheeky Kip is firing on all cylinders 🙂
It’s changing my attitude to how I live my everyday life too. You might have seen about the debacle during our stay at Alton Towers – I dealt with it differently to the norm. Normally I’d be a seething ball of rage, waiting to get home to send an angry complaint. Not this time – I tracked down the senior staff and whilst I was cross, I was polite and calm, and persistent to get some kind of resolution.
I really do feel happy how I’ve found my confidence in Blogging! Has anything similar happened to you?
(apologies if this post is a bit all over the place, I’m writing on my phone, in the dark)
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