Confidence in Blogging

If you know me in real life, you’ll know that I’m quite quiet, I’m very passive in social situations. Loz jokes that we’re ‘Penn and Teller’, she’s the loud, gobby one, I just smile and nod (and whisper stuff in her ear) – perhaps Sooty and Sweep is a better comparison?

This does change slightly when I’ve had a few drinks, my natural guard comes down, and I feel more relaxed in my own skin. I swear a lot, I shout a bit, I’m cheeky – nothing like the wretched withering wreck I feel like most of the time.

Something is changing in me though, I can feel it deep inside.. I feel..

CONFIDENT!

Not in an annoying full of myself way, just in a ‘I’m not that bad really’ kind of way. It’s tiny, weeny baby steps, but I feel better about ME.

I firmly believe this is down to blogging, and becoming part of the community. I use to hide behind my keyboard, any confrontations or issues were put in a strongly worded blog, or email. I could hide so easily this way – when I’m frustrated or upset I stammer slightly, the cutting words I’d eloquently plotted in my brain just can’t couldn’t get out. Writing it down was so much easier.

Blogging has introduced me to a massive range of people, from all walks of life and as I try to attend events I *have* to meet them, I *have* to talk to them. Being forced into social contact has been incredible for me, there’s no hiding behind a screen, I’m there, I *have* to do something. It’s not always easy to strike up a conversation with someone you’ve never met, or perhaps just read their blog –  but there is a bit of common ground. Blogging!

As this post is published, I’m in a Tube train, heading to Euston, for a train to Liverpool. I’m attending a JBL event, I’ll explain more later, but the thing is, a year ago, I wouldn’t be doing this. I’m on a train, away from my friends and family, meeting a tonne of new people (mostly press and PR) and spending a night away from home on my own. A year ago I’d be terrified, I’d probably be thinking of an excuse not to go, but I’m here, at 00.02 actually excited by it all.

The only person I know out of everyone there is the PR, I’ll have to talk to, interact with a metric fucktonne of new people. I’ll have to tuck away the bashful, stammering, useless Kip and ensure the happy, noisy, cheeky Kip is firing on all cylinders 🙂

It’s changing my attitude to how I live my everyday life too. You might have seen about the debacle during our stay at Alton Towers – I dealt with it differently to the norm. Normally I’d be a seething ball of rage, waiting to get home to send an angry complaint. Not this time – I tracked down the senior staff and whilst I was cross, I was polite and calm, and persistent to get some kind of resolution.

I really do feel happy how I’ve found my confidence in Blogging! Has anything similar happened to you?

(apologies if this post is a bit all over the place, I’m writing on my phone, in the dark)