I’ve felt a bit, well – a lot, down these past few days – it’s mostly in part to the fact my Grandma is very ill.
She’s a woman in her 80’s and she has been ill many times before, had lots of operations, but come back fighting fit and returned to the bright vibrant lady she’s always been. Grandma is an incredible woman, her kindness and generosity is mind boggling. She’s a devout Christian and still goes to Church, she’s so well known and loved in her community, whenever it’s Christmas or her birthday, the wall of her house is FILLED with cards, it’s like Clinton’s!
She really is the Matriarch of our family, and my only surviving Grandparent, and this week it’s really hit me.
She won’t be around forever.
Mum had warned me she had taken a turn for the worse, and just wasn’t really able to do much now. She’s not been eating much, and some days, not even got out of bed, because she just can’t summon the energy to get up. She’s frustrated, she’s always been fit and able, a bit wobbly on her feet these past few years, but she’s always been so independent. She’s a force to be reckoned with, but now, my wonderful family are having to help her a lot, and I think she’s struggling with being ‘helpless’.
Mum told me it would be good to go and see her, and honestly, it filled me with dread, I hate seeing people suffering and ill. Not because I’m heartless, it just haunts me. I felt so horrible and selfish for feeling that way, but I knew I HAD to – so today, I did. She was half asleep when I got there, basking in the Sun in he front room. She heard me talking to Mum, and opened her eyes and smiled at me.
“Hello, How are you?” she croaked..
“Better than you!!” I joked.
She giggled. I instantly felt better.
We sat and spoke, I showed her a few pictures of G and J, she kept slipping off to sleep, occasionally losing her train of thought. She was telling me how ‘strict’ my Mum, Aunt and Uncle had been with her, I told her that it was her fault for dancing all night and sleeping all day. The smile on her face and the chuckle were magical. She moaned that they’d bought a bed downstairs for her, and that she wasn’t going to use it, I told her that she should, and if she didn’t I’d put one of J’s baby gates on her stairs. The look of ‘No you bloody won’t’ on her face was a picture!
I wasn’t there for long, she kept dozing off more and more, but I was so glad to see her and I know the feeling was mutual. I said goodbye, and told her to make sure she cut out the dancing at night, she mentioned something about ‘Chance would be a fine thing..’. As much as I’d dreaded seeing her so ill, it was so lovely to see her, the sparkle in her eye and her cheeky sense of humour shining through her illness.
She really is the strongest person I know, I’m sure she’ll fight through this time as well, I’ve got everything crossed for her.
Just remember folks, if you’ve got them, go see your Grandparents, you’ll regret it when you can’t.
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