You might have seen my awkward tweet exchange with the ‘Grandpa in my Pocket’ Twitter account. I really do hate the Grandpa in my Pocket, it’s an utter pile of wank.

I know I’m not the target audience, but generally MOST of the CBeebies output is passable. Although I think there is far too much of that toby jug faced twonk Justin Fletcher, but most of the shows are educational or fun.

Grandpa in my Pocket is the TV equivalent of being punched in the face repeatedly with a hammer.




It’s an interesting idea, a normally frail-ish Grandpa dons a magic cap, and for some reason, instantly shrinks and is physically fit and able. Also somehow this cap manages to make toy cars and planes come to life so he can procure them as a mode of transport. That’s fine, bit fucking ‘out there’ but, meh. It’s a Kids TV show.

My problem, mostly, lies in the cast – all of the actors in it seem to be like they are off their tits on some kind of stimulant and laughing gas combination. It’s all so hammy and OTT it makes a pantomime look like Taggart. The child actors look like they’ve spent too much time in stage school with their parents pushing them and telling them how they are ‘wonderful daaaarling’ they are. It’s cheesier than an unwashed foreskin. The adult actors aren’t any better, they all seem to have fixed deranged grins, delivering the lines with far too much gusto than should be allowed.

Also, I’m confused why most of the characters have to be named after their temperament. We’ve Mr Liker-Biker who has an unhealthy obsession with bikes, and seems to LIKE everything (reminds me of my parents on Facebook! Sorry Mum and Dad!). Mr Whoops who is always having ‘accidents’, he seems to fall over a lot and today ‘accidently’ smeared cream into the bosom of another character (we’ve all done it guys!). Miss Smiley – who.. well you get the idea. Although Madame Vibrato DOESN’T have a Rampant Rabbit obsession, she’s a Singing Teacher. Wikipedia has the whole sorry cast list, I’ve spent 5 minutes groaning at it.

I’m not sure WHY it winds me up so much, I can sit through most cheesy bilge, heck – I sat through Sex and the City without the desire to smash my TV in (mostly). There is just something so inherently terrible about Grandpa in my Pocket that makes me want to do a bitch slap rampage throughout the cast and crew. It’s not a terrible show, it’s an effing APPALLING show, I’m hoping some miracle occurs and a hapless CBeebies employee hits the ‘delete’ button on the computer that stores the shows .

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