Once again, instead of making a vlog, I’ve written a little trip report of a day out at Thorpe Park in 2023. I haven’t been to Thorpe Park since Fright Nights 2019 – with the pandemic, and then my dodgy spine, I’ve really missed ‘The Island Like No Other’.
I wasn’t alone for this trip, I was joined by My Mate Vince, who coincidentally has become a really good mate! We were arriving separately, and we both got caught on some roadworks outside the park on Chertsey Lane. As I waited for Vince, I watched some of the Entertainment Team dancing and revving up the crowd at the entrance. It’s really nice seeing effort being put into entertainment at Thorpe Park, some happy, smiley, and interactive staff make all the difference!
When Vince arrived, we made our way into the park – I had to stop on the way out of the Dome, to admire the skyline.
I had to educate Vince on my only rule about Thorpe Park – and that is – QUANTUM FIRST! I don’t care who I’m there with, I *always* have to go on Quantum first. Vince happily obliged, I knew that he really wasn’t a fan of Samurai (SAAAMMMMEEE!), so Quantum, was indeed first! It was as fun as I remembered, maybe not as smooth? I wish the music was a little louder too.
The next ride was Rush – despite the park quickly filling up with school trips, Rush only had a very small queue. I LOVE Rush so much – it’s so exhilarating! I just wish it had a longer ride cycle, it’s not long enough at all – I got the feeling Vince was happy that it was a relatively short ride! As we were nearby, we went for a go on The Walking Dead – The Ride. The queue was pretty empty – so we were in the pre-show in no time.
I really like The Walking Dead – The Ride, it’s a fun dark ride, I was surprised to see all the effects working still, everything looked great. I’d seen a few people mention actors in the queueline before now, but there was no sign of them. I don’t know how long they have the The Walking Dead licence deal for, it’s certainly giving life to a very old ride which had lost it’s identity.
Next up was a ‘ride’ I’ve never done before, and it was Black Mirror: Labyrinth – I had tried to avoid spoilers about what it was like, so I could experience it ‘blind’. On the way in, we had our picture taken and had to enter our name next to it on the tablets – and in we went. I won’t give too much away; it was fun seeing our faces dotted around the ‘maze,’ though, and it was clever how they’d used the technology. It felt a bit like a scare maze, but without the scares. The finale was pretty fun; it was quite disorientating – I think the problem with it is that there’s not much in the way of ‘re-riding’ it. Once you’ve done it, that’s it. I’d go in again if there wasn’t a queue, but I’m not sure I’d wait long for it!
We made our way over to Rumba Rapids to find it had temporarily closed, it was interesting to see that all under 18s had to be accompanied by an adult. Probably due to it being school trip season, and a result of the tragedy at Drayton Manor a few years ago. We made our way round to Detonator instead, and found a 30-minute queue. It was nice watching Nemesis Inferno fly around and having a natter with Vince as we waited. I knew Vince wasn’t a Detonator fan, but it was his idea to go on! I’d forgotten quite the speed of the drop – I wasn’t holding on, and instantly flew out of my seat as it dropped – it took me by surprise! The last ‘drop tower’ I’d done was ‘Croc Drop’ at Chessington the week before, and Detonator has a LOT more force!
Feeling a bit peckish, we went over to the Pizza and Pasta place for a spot of lunch. I was amazed at how quiet it was in there – I assume all the school trips were having packed lunch! I’d heard the quality of the food had slipped this year, I mean, it wasn’t THE BEST pizza I’d had – but it wasn’t BAD. I was mindful not to stuff my face as we had a LOT more rides to cover.
After lunch we headed back to Rumba Rapids as it had opened, however as we walked through the queueline, the heavens opened, and the ride was closed down. Not sure why..? Maybe the loading platform is slippery when wet?
As the queues were getting a bit much, we grabbed a few ‘One Shot Fastrack’ tickets, to ensure our waiting times weren’t too insane. Our first port of call was Nemesis Inferno – I really enjoy this ride – it’s pretty smooth, and packs a punch. Unfortunately as we got to the station to board, the ride had a temporary hault, the staff said the engineers *should* be able to get it running. It took them about 20 minutes to get to the ride, and after a cycle with and empty train, everything was running perfectly! It was as good as I’d remembered and made me excited for Nemesis coming back to Alton Towers next year!
I’d mentioned to Vince that my friend Dan had lost his Hublot watch in the Nemesis Inferno swamp, maybe if it was found some day it would be in a better state than the one Vince tried to fix that spent its life in stone!
Next up was Saw – The Ride. I have mixed feelings about this ride. I like it, however, I find it a bit rough and uncomfortable. It was actually pretty smooth – a lot smoother than I’d remembered. It was a fun ride, and Vince loved it too! It was a shame that the ‘Billy’ animatronics aren’t being maintained. They definitely need a bit of love!
Next, it was time to head over to Swarm Island for a go on The Swarm. After trying Mandrill Mayhem at Chessington last week, I was intrigued to see if my memory had made me think The Swarm was a lot smoother than it actually was – it hadn’t – The Swarm is so smooth. I think it’s one of my favourites at Thorpe Park for sure. I really do love the whole ride area too. If you want to see a bit behind the scenes of The Swarm, I’d recommend my video that shows a Coaster Climb I did a few years ago. I did notice the water spray effect around the helicopter wasn’t working, which was a shame.
Next up was a ride I’m not really a fan of, and indeed actively avoid – Colossus. Although it has had a small amount of retracking this year, I was interested to see if that made a difference. It really didn’t – the ride is abysmal – the track is wonderfully thrilling, however because your head is banging around the over the shoulder restraint, it’s hard to enjoy it. I *REALLY* want to head up to Flamingoland to ride Sik – which is pretty much identical to Colossus, but has a lap restraint instead (no headbanging!). The retracked part of the ride made absolutely no difference – it’s just the trains.
I actually woke up the next day with a super sore neck, I think unless Thorpe Park replace the trains on this ride, I’m not going on it again. That said – Vince had a whale of a time on it!
Time was marching on, and it felt like the park was getting a bit quieter – much to my surprise, Vince requested that we go on Detonator again! I was absolutely up for that – and the fact that it was a walk-on too was an added bonus! I remembered this time that the drop was quite rapid, so I held on! I do enjoy Detonator; it’s not Mystery Castle at Phantasialand – however, it gives a great, albeit quick rush!
We headed over to Rumba Rapids again, and it was SO quiet, I think we did the entire queue line without seeing another rider! I haven’t done Rumba Rapids for a while. It feels relatively tame and lacking in ‘Rapid-ness’. It wasn’t really the weather for getting soaked to the skin, so I didn’t mind that we came off relatively dry!
We walked over to Stealth – it had a 45 minute queue, which, wasn’t too bad.. The skies were getting darker, and just as we were in the ride station, the rain HAMMERED down. The station is open, and has no cover, so we were soaked to the skin. They actually played warnings that the rain could make the ride uncomfortable, I mean – how much pain could rain cause? We were only a few minutes from the front of the queue, and the rain continued to pelt us hard.
We got on the ride, soaked to the skin, and as the ride launched – we both found out how uncomfortable the rain could be when you’re launched face first at 80mph. It REALLY bloody hurts – each raindrop is like a tiny cut. It was exhilarating, but my god it stung! I think the on-ride photo for this one is my favorite!
The rain continued to thrash down, and Thorpe Park was soon to close, we had time for one more ride… Vince convinced me to go on Tidal Wave. Now if you’re unaware of Tidal Wave, it’s essentially like a log flume ride, but with a ‘Splash’ that is a Tidal Wave. I’m not joking. Thorpe Park estimate that you get covered in 2.9 bathtubs full of water. I think that is a fair estimate!
In Vince’s words.. ‘I don’t think we could get much wetter!’ – I did agree to some extent, when you can feel water in your pants, you know you’re pretty wet! I knew it would be a soggy ride home around the M25, so, I thought ‘Sod It’ and we raced through the queue line. I RARELY do this ride, because you do get STUPID levels of wet.. I don’t think I’ve been on it since 2009 ish? You really have no idea of how wet this ride is, until you’re sat looking at a wall of water about to crash onto you. I think the on-ride photo captures that split second of time..
Unfortunately, I think Vince was wrong on this occasion. Turns out, we could get a bit wetter. Actually, a LOT more! We both schlepped across the resort, absolutely sodden. Every single step, I could feel a squish beneath my feet. I didn’t have a change of clothes, I wasn’t even sure there was a towel in the car. It was going to be a wet journey!
Vince and I said our goodbyes and parted ways – I rummaged around in the boot, and found a stash of towels I had there for Duggee if he ever got wet when we were walking. I patted myself down the best I could and put a towel on the seat for what turned out to be a nearly 3-hour drive home.
I really had the BEST day at Thorpe Park – it was so good to be back there after so long, and it was so nice to hang out with Vince too. The staff were all on top form, and aside from a few hiccups, the rides were running well. I’m really hoping to head back there soon and maybe do another Fastrack Challenge?
