The Dads Race

Yesterday was G’s Sports Day – It was a lovely day for it!

It was your typical modern Sports Day.. instead of the kids being put up against each other, most of the events were team based, with the four houses competing against each other. I suppose in a way it’s nice that those children who suck at sport can ‘get lost’ within the team, and those better at it can help the team score more points.

It was lovely to go along and watch, until..

The Dads Race.

I’ve never done one of these before, I’m terrible at sports, and despite looking fairly muscular on top, it’s all for show, I have no speed or stamina. I hadn’t thought about there being a Dads Race until G squawked across.

‘Are you doing the Dads Race?’

A few of her friends looked over at me while I thought of the answer.. I knew I’d probably fail epically and that would probably be embarrassing, but not trying is probably worse, especially as I tell G to always try hard.

‘Erm.. Erm.. Yeah, okay!’ My bravado spluttered.

FUCK! I was committed to it.

I sat watching the long distance races, hoping that they’d skip the Parent races, but then the ‘Toddler’ Race took place, and then the Mums Race. It was time.

The Dads Race is a blatant Daddy-Dick-Swinging contest.. it really is, all the men shuffled over, pretending they didn’t really give a fuck, but really.. we do. There were so many Dads that we actually had to be split into two races, I stepped back from the first race, then we were called to the line. I looked back at G and she gave me a ‘Thumbs Up’.

3

2

1

*Klaxon*

I flew off the line with quite a lot of speed, I don’t think I’d run like this since school! My body was obviously surprised at my speed, and I almost flew towards the ground. I was okay. Then to my right a Dad fell.. it was a spectactular mid air flip, and he came crashing down, I thought about stopping or turning back to assist him.

FUCK HIM! It’s every Dad for himself!

I carried on as fast as I could, I was probably about 6 of 12. Then disaster struck. The older guy in front of me fell, I saw him go down, but had no time to change course, I tripped over him and landed hard on the ground.

Cock.

I wasn’t going to come last, I got up and pounded the final few metres, I’ve no idea where I came, It wasn’t last though. I walked back to G to find her beaming.

‘Where did you come?’ She asked.

‘Erm.. not sure, it wasn’t last!’ I wheezed.

‘I saw you fall over Dad.. are you okay?’

I nodded and two of her classmates came over.

‘Are you okay?’ a boy asked.

‘Yeah, aside from grass stains on my jeans!’ I replied. He didn’t care about my dirty jeans.

‘Was the Dad who flipped over okay?’ he continued.

‘Well to be honest, I didn’t really care.. I just wanted to win!…’

As this came out of my mouth I looked at her classmate, he looked kind of shocked I really didn’t give a fuck about a fellow Father.

‘..But I’m sure he’s fine’ I quickly added. This made the boy smile, it was quite cute that he was so interested in the welfare of others.

That was it! The events were over, and G’s House won! I am glad I did the Dads Race, the smile G had was immense! I’d best start training for ‘Dads Race 2013’ 🙂