image (1)Those who know me well, will know that my weight has always been a bit of a contentious issue, I’ve got clothes in all shapes and sizes knocking around my cupboards. I was always a svelte teen and in my early adult years I stayed largely the same. Then well, I didn’t, I ate crap and got massive, that’s when my Dark Passenger jumped on board and I plummeted down over 4 stone in a matter of months.

It wasn’t a good way to get to how I wanted to be, but – I was happier and felt better in myself.

Going down..
Going down..

Cut forward a few years, and I was creeping up again, nothing like how I was – but I could feel it, the slight wobble of an extra chin. Clothes size slowly going up, everything feeling a bit tight – it wasn’t good. It wasn’t helped by the flat we rented being very cheap, we were child free during the week so there was time and the disposable cash to go out for meals, drinks, whatever. The local takeaway knew us well, they even got Loz a birthday card!

Going Up....
Going Up….

With our wedding fast approaching and neither of us particularly happy with how we were, we signed up for the gym and went for it!  A daily(ish) gym routine combined with fewer meals out and takeaways was, well, incredible, the weight fell off! I can look at my wedding photos and not cringe at how appalling I looked, because – I look good! It wasn’t sustainable though, after the wedding we moved to our house – the gym was too expensive to keep on and had to go!

Me and Chris, just before our civil partnership..
Me and Chris, just before our civil partnership..

Move forward to last Christmas, and I wasn’t feeling great about myself – thankfully not ‘Dark Passenger’ bad. Just, well, not happy.

Something switched inside me, and I’ve wanted to change to being more how I was in the post wedding time – easily into ‘Medium’ T-Shirts, 32″ Jeans and not feeling like a double chinned state.

It’s working – I’m not ‘doing’ anything persay, thinking more about if I’m ACTUALLY hungry, and wanting food, if not – I won’t eat. I’m not starving myself, or deliberately skipping meals, just listening to my body and if it’s not hungry, I won’t snack or eat for the sake of it. I’ve also cut down on my alcohol intake in the past few months (although that’ll go out of the window with Blog on MOSI and BritMums Live I’m sure!)

I’m getting to the point where I like what I see in the mirror, the big clothes are falling off, and I’m having to invest in lots of new clothes that fit. Not all bad, I like getting new clothes, although my Next account will have a sad face at the end of the month! I’m hoping this new mentality is sustainable, because, well I like the me I am now.

Goodbye Dark Passenger, you may leave the car – now.

2014-04-02 15.34.58

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