Do you ever have that moment of clarity when you look at your children and you think –

“That little person I have a 50% share in is turning into such a brilliant human being” ?

I do, a lot.




They have their moments when they are infuriating, and make me feel so frustrated I ache inside. However, it passes, they apologise, and the balance is restored. Make no mistake, even the best of behaved of children can be little dicks at times.

However – It’s seemingly increasingly popular to bitch and moan about your offspring online. I’m sure it’s great being the type of person that earns a living creating cartoons, poems and writing about what little shits their kids are. Then thinking you’re funny by getting pissed up when they go to bed – “Gin O’Clock ladies!” “Where’s my wine?” Is everyone a lush with such horrible children? Or is it just just ‘on trend’ at the moment to act like a dick?

My daughter has climbed a mountain, my son is nailing his first year at school. I’m so proud of them it makes me want to burst. I don’t think I have it in me to take the piss out of them, or endlessly bitch about them especially in public. I miss them so much when they aren’t with me, and I feel so calm and happy when they’re at home with us.

Celebrate your children – don’t bitch about them. Be proud of them.

If they are horrible human beings, it’s probably because of you.

Shouting into the internet about what brats they are won’t help, gin won’t help.

Your kids aren’t there to bemoan, or take the piss out of. They are your stamp on the world – your legacy. I’m not talking about looking at them like they are perfect all the time, or turning a blind-eye when they are naughty. You have to be hard on them at times, of course, but your frustration shouldn’t be internet fodder. We’re lucky to have our kids. So many people are desperate to have their own. Being a knobhead about yours is disrespectful to them, and your own children.

Do everything you can to make sure the legacy you leave behind is the best you can make it.

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