It’s 10.04am on the 25th April. I find myself in Chelmsford, the city I was born in and lived in for nearly all my life. I’m sat in Starbucks with a disappointing Peach Citrus Green Tea, and pondering.

You see, I used to spend a lot of time in here.. Far too much if I’m honest. I knew all the staff, they knew me, they’d start making my drink as I was in the queue. However, I spent a lot of time here because, well – I was depressed and lonely. It was good to escape the confines of the house, but it was very unhealthy. I was stuck in a horrible routine – a weird sort of Groundhog Day. When you go to the same place at the same time, EVERY SINGLE DAY – you realise you’re not alone in this Groundhog Day. You spot the same people, doing the same things. You spot your Groundhog Day buddies, ordering their same drinks, sat with the same listless expression.

As I sit here today though, everything has changed.


All the staff are different, the drinks are shocking, the service isn’t great. The faces around me are all different – no Groundhog Day buddies. It feels like a different world and that’s because it is!

I’m no longer depressed.

I’m actually happy.

I don’t feel trapped in my custom built routine, looping it over and over, confined by my own mental fortress. I feel calm, relaxed and happy – I’m not a little ball of misery. I’m not hiding from the world in this franchised disappointing outlet.

I’m just waiting, passing the time until I have my haircut at 11am. Then, I’m going back home to do some ‘proper’ work, before heading back out later to go into London with Vicki to see Bears Den tonight. My calendar has lots to look forward to, and plenty of space to freestyle a little bit and squeeze in some more fun stuff.

I don’t sit in Starbucks because I’m lonely. I sit here because I’m waiting – passing the time away for the next cool thing to happen.

It’s nice to come back here. Not for the coffee, or the ambience. Just as a little reminder as to where I was, and how far I’ve come. I like that everything around here has changed and nothing is the same, because that’s exactly what’s happened to me too. I miss the staff, and the beverages – but, that’s it.

Anyway, I should run – time to get my hair cut!



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