I love looking after G on school days; doing the whole school run thing is great as we get to chat in the car before school have a big hug and kiss at the school gate. Then at the end of the day she comes bounding out all smiles and enthusiasm. Awesome.

The whole thing is let down by trying to leave the premises each day – it’s a nightmare! I do have to drive G to school but I wish I didn’t. It’s a 6 mile round trip and if I wanted to use public transport, it would take around 1.5 hrs in total (three hours doing both beginning and end of the day) so it’s not possible. The problem is, a lot of parents drive their kids to school and it causes pandemonium. The school is old – it was where my 80-something Grandma went to as a child so when it was designed, cars weren’t an issue! They are now though.

If you want to park for the school, you have four options.

1 – Park on the ’roundabout’ outside – It’s not an actual roundabout, it’s a circular bit of road that is three car widths wide, so you park on the left and right sides and drive around the middle.

2 – Park in the car park off the roundabout – This is a small 25 space car park, it does the job!

3 – Park in the roads / lay-bys outside the school

4 – Park on the housing estate (it’s really nice!)

Usually to achieve parking in one, two or three you have to be at school EARLY – four is a last resort really, but fairly easily done if you’re running late. Now I’m not sure why, but it would seem most people only want to do one and two which I understand as you’re on school property and you’ve got less distance to walk -it’s easier. The thing is, a lot of the parents seem to just get fixated on parking on the school grounds. They’ll drive round and round hunting down spaces. This sometimes yealds a result as people do leave, but mostly, they don’t.

This creates a rather hellish scenario where people just drive around and around, looking for spaces and as they creep round, they are joined by other seekers of spaces. It’s like that old Nokia game ‘snake’ where the snake gets longer and longer. Instead of thinking ‘Oh, I’m too late to get a space, best think about options three or four’, a certain sense of madness sets in and they’ll park their car wherever the car will fit. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the way, blocking other cars, blocking the road itself, they’ll just dump their car like a Zombie Apocalypse is coming. I saw one car today park across two cars in parking bays, trapping them in. I saw cars blocking the exit from the car park -it’s madness! People are so fucking narrow minded and they only think about themselves. Instead of leaving that little bit earlier, or admitting defeat and finding a nearby road, they just fuck it all up for everyone else. Even the yellow zig-zags outside the school aren’t sacred, you’ll find them chocka with cars too. I long for the day a nice Policeman is outside issuing three points and Fixed Penalty Notices to those who park there!

It took nearly 30 minutes to get out of the school car park tonight, all because these twats had blocked the access and then happily pushed in trying to get out as quickly as possible. Some rancid old cunt who was blocking the road threw her car into the path of mine as I was trying to leave, no indication, no wave of the hand, she just charged out. I must admit the red mist came over when she did that. I wanted to smash every panel of her cunting Corsa and rip off her head. Thankfully a chirpy child and a heavily pregnant wife ‘de-misted’ me quite quickly, especially G shouting ‘WHAT IS SHE DOING?!’

Why do we have to be so selfish to each other? Why can’t we think of others and treat others how we expect to be treated? I can’t admit to being a saint (not at all) but now I’m older I’m trying to be more reflective and think about other people. It’s fucking hard when the world around is trying to climb on top of you!

Baby Update – There is no Baby. Although there have been contractions for most of the day, which annoyingly don’t seem to be progressing.

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