I’ve written before about the decline in health of my Grandma at great length, she’s seen some more doctors, and well, the prognosis isn’t very good. There is very little they can do for her now to treat her conditions, and it’s basically down to my wonderful family to ensure she’s kept happy and comfortable.

Mum asked if we could go visit her with the children over the weekend to try and lift her spirits . I’d already explained to G that she was ill a month or so ago, but I thought it best to explain the now terminal nature of her ailments. Explaining to a 10 year old that she could soon lose a relative is heart breaking, but G took it beautifully, and was actually more concerned about how *I* felt. I didn’t want to scare her, but obviously didn’t want her to feel shocked or lied to. I wanted G to know that it’s okay to be sad and upset, but we have to remember to make sure we enjoy our time with her.

We visited yesterday, Grandma was looking thinner than ever before and so very tired too. She mostly sleeps, waking occasionally to listen to what we’re saying. Her face lit up when we came in, and even more so when G + J bundled in. She’d had a slightly better day yesterday , her appetite was marginally better  and she’d even had a Kit Kat.  G was tasked with walking around with Grandma’s treat box if anyone wanted a chocolate biscuit with her brew, G stopped at Grandma to offer her one  and he frail hand reached in for her 2nd Kit Kat. I felt so choked up seeing a little bit of ‘normality’ in her, she loves her chocolate and seeing her do what she’s always done really made me smile.

We didn’t stay long, Grandma was getting very tired, and there seemed to be bigger gaps in her dozing off / waking up pattern. She’s still very much there in her mind with her sense of humour, she was making jokes and smiling at our jokes. It felt re-assuring again to see a little bit of her normal behaviour there despite her illness. As we were leaving I had to go back into the room to return a toy car J had pinched, Grandma spotted me, smiled and said

“Thank you everso much for coming round today, it’s been lovely”

I really had to fight back the tears – she looked so happy for us just being there, something we’ve done hundreds of times before, I’m so glad we had G this weekend and were able to go together to be with her. I want to make more time during the week to go and see her, she’s not really into having lengthy chats at the moment, but I think she just likes knowing that we’re there.

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