Bloggers are very well known for singing their own praises, so many of us do it – boasted about stats, followers, likes etc, or we just whore relentlessly, blogging groups on Facebook dissolve into bloggers just throwing their posts or pages in everyone’s face with a ‘LOOK AT ME!!’ approach. It’s fine, and very easy to think you’re Blogger big Bollocks because the right PR opportunities are heading your way.

The problem with an inflated ego is you begin to think you’re something you’re not. I’ve heard lots of talk of ‘professional bloggers’, often a self-made title with no evidence to prove so. Fuck it – I’m a professional blogger – there I said it – I don’t know why I am, but if I say it enough, people will believe it – yeah?

As your blog grows, your followers and likers increase generally, this should happen organically (although there are plenty of those who will pay for followers), so here you are with a blog that’s getting views, and social media accounts that are getting looked at. Brilliant – well done! You can call yourself a ‘professional blogger’, pass go and collect a £250 Sponsored Post.

With all the followers and a large social footprint and your professional blogger hat on – what’s next?

Ahhh yes – it’s time..

You are now a SOCIAL MEDIA GURU!!

This seems to be the next phase in a bloggers thundercuntery plans of blogosphere domination. With a lot of followers, your ego is bigger and you can now try to sell your services as a SOCIAL MEDIA GURU!

Obviously, you’ve no training in social media, and you have no idea about how a campaign would work, or even comprehend the concept of mediums, conversion rates, targeting or anything like that. No – fuck that! Fuck the fact there are people who train for years learning ACTUAL things about Social Media, and can manage social media effectively providing a good service for the client and readers, no – it’s okay, you have a blog and a few thousand followers!

You are DEFINITELY a social media expert.

I’ve put a plaster on a cut before – I’m a surgeon. I’ve changed a tyre before – I’m a mechanic. I’ve seen two children being born – I’m a midwife.

It’s just the same – you’re not a guru, expert or whizz – you’ve just played the game and got people reading your stuff and looking at your badly designed blog.

I get that a lot of bloggers have their blog as a source of income, and selling services is good way of getting further income, but you have to be realistic. I know bloggers who do copy-writing as a sideline, which is great, there are so many talented word smiths in the blogosphere. Selling Social Media and Marketing on the basis that you come from background of sharing pictures of your ugly children on Instagram, or have written a review of some tat a PR has sent and sharing it on Twitter doesn’t make you anything more than, well – a blogger.

We all have to start somewhere, I know this, I’m not saying that no bloggers could be Social Media Experts – some are – but you need to practise what you preach – share links with all the analytic tracking added, get more than fifty likers on you alternative ‘Social Media Guru’ Facebook page. There are so many great resources online to teach you stuff – I had no idea how link tracking in Google Analytics worked, so I looked it up, and read a bit and put it into action. I’m not a guru – I just did some Googling.

Start SOMEWHERE – build it and they will come, don’t just give yourself a title and hope that people will believe it, cos otherwise, you’re a prick with a blog.

32 thoughts on “Social media guru are you? No.. You’re a prick with a blog.

  1. Emma Day says:

    Oh there’s more too… As well as the social media gurus, any blogger who knows how to change a font are now calling themselves graphic designers too!

    They’ll charge you the earth to make a blog design for you (that you don’t like) and will have no clue how to actually implement it!

    Note: I still have not mastered how to change my font.

  2. Alex says:

    There are a few things that “Pro Bloggers” do that make them easier to spot:
    *refer to PR agencies seeding backlinks etc on their blog, providing a box of cereals, or a cheap toy (most of which cost more in postage than the value of the product) as “clients”
    *treat press trips (esp holidays) as something entirely more special than a free holiday
    *constantly drone on about having to keep their tax accounts up to date (30 Jan is early enough to start for 99% of them)
    *have more hashtag than content in all their tweets
    *have 15,000 followers on twitter because they can charge more to a PR agency for having 15,000 followers on twitter. They might talk to about 4 of them. And then with hashtags.
    *spend more money with Moo than they do on Christmas presents
    *have a blog that is so full of paid stuff, you can’t find a thing out about their life any more.

  3. Jem says:

    I think I might actually be in love with you Kip.

    (Although you DID forget all the numpties who think that installing WordPress makes them qualified to advise people on web dev, which obviously is my personal bugbear .. can’t think why. ;))

    • Kip Hakes says:

      I was actually going to write a quick guide to help people – even the Social Media Gurus.. but you can sod off then 😉

  4. Philippa says:

    Brilliant! *makes notes* being on Twitter makes you a social media guru and installing WordPress turns you into a web developer – got it! 😉

    Thanks for making me smile on this boring Friday afternoon – completely agree with you too.

  5. kelly finn says:

    Phahahahahaha hahaha! Gosh I so love a good old kip rant! Actually brightens my week 🙂
    you talk so much sense, I nodded along whilst reading and totes agree. I 100% am a professional blogger, a social media guru and a massive liar.

    • Kip Hakes says:

      🙂 Glad to hear your tea was retained! 🙂 Happy to help change fonts if required, cos – well I am an actual web designer 🙂

  6. Markus says:

    my personal favorite still is someone tweeting proudly that an online betting company sponsored them to go to one of these blogger conferences! How unethical can you get as a self proclaimed “parenting blogger” going to a “parenting blogger conference” with money you got from an online betting company??

    • Kip Hakes says:

      I think that a lot of companies are scaling back sponsorship of bloggers to events as the ROI probably isn’t all that great, so I guess that people have to take it from wherever they can..

  7. WallyMummy says:

    There he is! Lol 🙂 ‘thundercuntery’…

    Love you a bit for this kip 😉

    WallyMummy x
    (Social media expert, baby whisperer and Lord high leader of all the vaginas)

  8. Emma T says:

    Sniggers away while reading.

    Hands up, i know how to change a font…there’s always a plugin for everything. Lol.

    I did a social media paid course this year in the hope of helping my blog, proving i knew what my colleagues seem to think nm i do, and to give me some credibility with my Nct branch who i volunteer with to do their social media in absence of anyone else. I was surprised at how basic the course was, but as I’d never dare put myself forward for anything where i needed to prove roi more than i can currently manage, i won’t be doing the next level up.

  9. Karen Reekie says:

    Well said. I am a blogger, I write a parenting (and a few other topics) blog. That doesn’t make me a parenting expert, or a blogging expert. I like to think I know a little bit about parenting, and about blogging, and compared to someone who is new to both, I probably do, but I am no expert. I get pissed off when people proclaim themselves to be experts, when they are not. I had two babies, does that make me a midwife? No! I have had operations, does that make me a nurse (well, actually I am a nurse, by former trade but I am not an expert in anything but my own field) I have just filled in a form for the tax man, does that make me an accountant? No.
    I think the problem with blogging is it is easy to get a blog, and write, but what you share and how you share it, and how many people read your blog can then be an indicator of your knowledge and experience. Might be easy to be a blogger in that you have a blog, but it’s not easy to be a good blogger, but people won’t admit that and will claim titles to promote themselves, instead of putting in the hard work. Does that make sense? PS the picture at the top of this blog made me laugh so much I spat coffee on my keyboard! Thanks for that! 🙂

  10. carla says:

    I google most things I must be an Expert in Life now!
    Of course I would love to be paid for doing something I enjoyed but I would not class my self as anything more than full on professional in any aspect unless I’d been paid, had a fair bit of training and had a few years of experience behind me.

  11. Potty Mouthed Mummy says:

    I might have been having a rant about this exact thing today to a friend who told me to come and immediately read this post. I have worked in online “stuff” ( no one, not even my husband really understands what I do) for a decade and I get rather f***ed off at all the gurus out there. I should laugh really.

    This post. Just fabulous. Thank you for summing up my rage.

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