Bloggers are ten-a-penny. We’re like cancer, 1 in 3 people in their lifetime will experience a Blogger – sadly, there’s no cure.

Bloggers tend to be in a multitude of demographics, although Men are still very much in the minority *waves #MorePenis flag*, but basically, if you’re a brand, looking to work with a blogger – you’re in luck, there will be someone to peddle your wares, from Holidays to Soap, there’s a blogger waiting for you.

Rising from the pit of Bloggers are those who take themselves VERY seriously, they aren’t JUST ‘a blogger’ – oh no, they are a PROFESSIONAL Blogger!

I’ve had several introduce themselves to me as ‘Professional Blogger’, and I’m not sure if I’m meant to drop down and suckle on their shoes (that they haven’t paid for), or bow ceremoniously before them.. I don’t do either, I just smirk and say – “Oh… Right!”

Thing is, there’s no such thing as a Professional Blogger – it’s not a ‘thing’, heck if we’re added ‘Professional’ onto stuff we do everyday then sod it I’m a Professional Tea Maker. Oh yes, my brews are renowned throughout the homes of the land, where others are trying to get the Milk / Hot Water balance right, I nail it EVERY, SINGLE, TIME. I’m a Professional!

I’m not, I just make good tea.

What constitutes as a ‘Professional Blogger’? Well, I’m not really sure, they don’t often have a proper job, and are generally ‘kept’ – which enables them to go to the opening of an envelope, and even demand to be paid to show their faces too. Which is ridiculous, because for every one of these penises they invite, they could probably invite 10 ‘normal’ Bloggers, those who don’t need a separate room for their egos, and could write more convincingly and passionately about the brand. Most of them are Class A narcissists who will tell you they ‘work hard’ at what they do, they wouldn’t understand ‘working hard’ if it trod on their toes. The hardest working bloggers are those who HAVE jobs, HAVE families and still somehow throw some stuff online. Floating around Twitter and Facebook setting your followers on people that disagree with you whilst setting up your DSLR for an over filtered picture isn’t hard work.

Being a ‘professional’ you’d think many would have writing nous, but no, generally any blog written by a professional will generally sound like one of those bits of writing hungover teachers got us all to do about our weekends when we were kids.

“On Saturday we went to a Blogging Event all my children were dressed in lovely clothes given to us by Whorecorp I wore some shoes that I got given and a dress that I got given too we drove a car that is on loan for the weekend and it was very nice and spacious I hope I get a car like this the event was good and we got a goody bag the goody bag was very good”

The best bloggers are those that just class themselves as that, just a blogger, someone shouting into the ether in the hope that someone will stumble across their stuff. Those with a handful of Twitter followers that they interact with, and not timing every tweet, or caring about numbers – just hitting ‘Publish’ and seeing what happens.

Fuck the glossy photoshopped bellends, who has every single aspect of their lives up for sale to any brand.

Don’t be a Professional Blogger – just be a Blogger.

13 thoughts on “Professional Blogger ? There’s no such thing!

  1. traceypeach says:

    *Standing Ovation* I know exactly what you mean & know several people who fit the “Professional Blogger” perfectly! If you blog you are a blogger, if you get paid for blogging then you are a paid blogger this does not make you a superior person who’s toileting does not stink it does!

  2. Claire Jacobs (@vampybear) says:

    agreed…. professional is a word that should be used when you are qualified in something, eg I completed a professional degree (it was called that) in social work so i am a professional social worker.
    no qualifications in blogging (please tell me that will never become a certified course) so i am just a blogger, and occasional blagger.

  3. Single Mother Ahoy says:

    I think it’s the difference between “professional blogger” and “professional blagger.”
    That said, my email signature does say “professional blogger” so I probably should be outraged with this post. My blog brings in a large chunk of my income most months though. I try to blog rather than blagging as free shoes don’t pay no bills.

  4. Nickie says:

    I think you could have expanded more on the stereotype here. Already there’s people recognising themselves and/or using the title as the comments here show. It’s pretentious shite and it’s like they are trying to convince themselves rather than anyone else.

  5. Candace says:

    So so right. There are a number of ‘professional’ bloggers around and if I have to behave like them then I’ll be the unprofessional one thanks

  6. Denise says:

    Great post and I think you’ve more or less hit the nail on the head however, I think the problem lies in how people define the word ‘professional’. The difference between a professional and an amateur is that the professional gets paid for what they do whilst the amateur doesn’t, even though they may have similar skillsets. I know that’s not the only definition but for the sake of this post, it seems to be the best one. There are some [excellent] bloggers out there whose main income comes from blogging and/or they earn a full time living from blogging and I think, in those cases, these people are perfectly entitled to call themselves professional bloggers in order to show that they’re not just blogging for fun. Blogging, for them, is a ‘proper’ job.
    Love your site by the way,
    Amateur Blogger and Professional Music Teacher 😉

    • Kip Hakes says:

      Thanks for the comment! 🙂 I think my issue is definitely NOT people earning money / a living from blogging – it’s more that they occasionally have an over inflated opinion of themselves.. 🙂

      • Denise says:

        Oh, I completely agree with you on that and apologies for not making it clear in my comment. 🙂 (Just added your site to my Feedly feed so I can keep up with your posts)

  7. Rach says:

    Nail. Head. You know the rest. I’ve literally been saying this for a fucking age. I just blog for me, I don’t do sponsored posts. Nor do I get paid to write, I just do it because I want to.

  8. Harriet from Toby & Roo says:

    I’ve just discovered your blog, a friend sent me this as the cancer reference at the beginning upset her.
    I can think of several people who deem themselves professionals and fit this bill, their attitude let’s EVERYONE down… BUT, and I’m not saying I totally disagree with you in all aspects, I class myself as a professional blogger, because by “profession” I’m a blogger. Or to be ultra smarmy “digital influencer” – yet you’ve most likely never heard of me, because I’m not an asshole who desires to fit the bill.
    I call myself a “professional” so that people realise I’m not “kept” as a lot of my husband’s friend’s think, which is insulting considering I earn more than him and I work double the hours he does. My kids aren’t up for sale, my life isn’t spent flouncing and I swear like a trooper on my blog despite knowing it might turn off some brands – that’s just me. I do have a father in law who poses snide questions about something that I have worked really hard (and having had the pleasure of working in a “real job” I can say, by comparison I work harder now because I’m doing it for me) to build so I suppose I say more than “blogger” to give some credit to what I do, never ever do I think I’m better than anyone.
    I think maybe, just maybe, this tarnishes everyone with the same brush who considers themselves a professional, which by definition ISN’T someone with qualifications above a certain station, but your “profession” is your job. My husband is a wine merchant… now that shouldn’t be a “profession” ?
    Hope this doesn’t come off as anything other than it’s meant, I just resent being lumped in with the type of people I know that are like this over a way of describing how I make my living.

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