This weekend saw the 2016 BritMums Live conference, I didn’t go because quite honestly – I think I’m over blogging conferences as they are.

I went to Blog On MOSI and BritMums Live in 2014 and really didn’t get anything from either, and the general undercurrent of subsequent conferences is that a lot of the other attendees don’t. Sure, on the surface everyone is all ‘Yeah, it was AMAZING this is the BEST BLOGGING CONFERENCE EVER!’, behind closed doors Facebook groups – it’s a different tale.

Going alone to a blogging conference is horrible, bloggers are insanely cliquey. Despite all the ‘it’ll be lovely to meet you’ tweets and Facebook exchanges, everyone hangs around in their little groups. That’s fine, because generally people DO hang around with their friends – but if you’re going in alone with some kind of anxiety it’s a lonely place. It’s like being a guest at a wedding, where everyone knows each other and you’re in the corner thinking “When is this going to end?”.

I’d HATE to be a new blogger at a blogging conference, if you’re going to one, make sure you have a few blogging friends beforehand, it’s lonely otherwise.

One of the worst thing is watching how horribly people behave at these events. Bloggers clamour over the brands there, it’s embarrassing. Everyone seems SO keen to work with a coffee enema brand, or a diet tea brand. Things that they’d never normally be interested in, but as soon as it’s at a blogging conference, it becomes fascinating.

Watching these events on social media, you’ll see endless selfies at the stands.

“I LOVE THE NEW COFFEE ENEMA FROM “CAFFEINATED RING”!!!!!!! #BMLBUM”

Have some fucking respect for your blog, and yourself.

These brands aren’t really interested in you, your family, or your blog. They just want their hashtags and names out there, they want a quick social media fuck and will be off before the morning comes. I’ve never seen so many people fake interest in each other than I have with brands in between sessions. Sure, they’ve put something in your goody bag, but they’ll make damn sure they’ve had their way with you on Social Media.

If you’re going to fawn over a brand, make it a wine or cake brand, let them use you when you’re drunk or off your tits on sugar. At least you’ll get something in return.

Generally the people running the sessions leave me feeling a bit cold. I don’t really want or need advice from another blogger. I want to hear inspirational stories and life experiences from writers, journalists etc. Not humble (or not) brags from bellends, patronising advice, or stories about some woman’s fanny. I think the most PAINFUL thing of all is watching people being ‘funny’ – yeah, you might raise a titter from your mates, but on the whole – bloggers aren’t funny. If you want jokes at a blogging conference, get a comedian that blogs, don’t pay a blogger – we’re NOT funny.

The common theme of going to a blogging conference is generally the social aspect, it’s nice to meet with friends and drink.

Seriously though, do we NEED a blogging conference to do that? Can’t you just make arrangements to have a night off from parenting and go out with fellow bloggers? We’re all grown ups and big enough to do this without having to have the excuse of a ‘conference’ to go to. The fun stuff is usually the drinking and eating before or after a conference – not during. I’ve got a little group of blogging friends and I’d MUCH rather go for a drink and meal with them, without the bother and expense of a blogging conference.

Fuck it – who’s up for the Bloggers Anti-Conference? No cliques, no brands, no sessions, just food and drink?

Header Image from the AMAZING Zara at Mojo Blogs.

6 thoughts on “Can we kill off the ‘Blogging Conference’, please?

  1. Stressed Rach says:

    I didn’t go this year but have the previous 2 years and it can be a lonely place even with lots of people buzzing around if you are not in a clique and are anxious already. It would also be a lot cheaper to meet up for a meal and drink with blogging friends.

  2. Amanda Masters says:

    I went once and ended up leaving early, felt like a total loser loner, never realised just how out of the blogging loop I was until then.
    An Anti Conference sounds amazing, from what I’ve read about this years event, the social aspect was the best thing about it.

  3. Alex says:

    I’ve been to a few- Cybermummy/Britmums, some Blogcamps etc and there is definitely one thing I’d say and that’s if you charge an entrance fee on top of all the sponsorship you get, make sure you have professionals leading the sessions rather than enthusiastic amateurs. The best sessions I’ve been to have all been run by professionals who may also blog in their own time but at the heart of it are involved in either PR or backend/SEO themselves. I don’t want to learn SEO or WordPress from someone who is self taught and has muddled their way through to a good end result by luck as much as skill.

    Everything else is usually uneducated opinion or simply a story of what worked for them. Case in point, a talk on Instagram I was at basically involved two thin attractive young girls who set up a running instagram account. They soon got thousands and thousands of followers because their timeline was full of attractive young women in lycra. Should I try to imitate that, there is a serious chance I would be arrested for harassing attractive young women in lycra, providing of course I could keep up with them. (I should say that the organisation that put that on also did my absolute favourite session ever on the technical side of SEO, so it can be very hit & miss).

    I also find it odd that so many conferences have a session on “finding your voice”. It’s your voice, finding it’s down to you and it doesn’t bode well if you have to go to a conference and have someone tell you how to be yourself.

    As a bloke who has been parent blogging since 2009, I also get to put up with the well meaning attention of people who have been doing it a fraction of the time I have but feel the need to treat me like a newbie because I have a penis. To be fair, this is probably an insight in to how women feel every single day of the week in the general course of life but even so…

    I’m lucky in as much as I don’t feel intimidated by these sorts of events and it’s rare a go to an event without spotting someone I at least recognise, even if I don’t remember there name but I can imagine it must be very intimidating if you’re not confident in yourself or in awe of some other blogger who has a good line in rhetoric and spin and an ego the size of a small country. One (wo)mans clique is another (wo)mans group of friends chatting together but it is down to the individuals to be inclusive when someone sidles up or wants to join in. At the end of the day, I suspect the ones who purposely exclude people do exactly the same at the school gates. People can be twats regardless of whether they’re bloggers or not.

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