This weekend saw the 2016 BritMums Live conference, I didn’t go because quite honestly – I think I’m over blogging conferences as they are.
I went to Blog On MOSI and BritMums Live in 2014 and really didn’t get anything from either, and the general undercurrent of subsequent conferences is that a lot of the other attendees don’t. Sure, on the surface everyone is all ‘Yeah, it was AMAZING this is the BEST BLOGGING CONFERENCE EVER!’, behind closed
doors Facebook groups – it’s a different tale.
Going alone to a blogging conference is horrible, bloggers are insanely cliquey. Despite all the ‘it’ll be lovely to meet you’ tweets and Facebook exchanges, everyone hangs around in their little groups. That’s fine, because generally people DO hang around with their friends – but if you’re going in alone with some kind of anxiety it’s a lonely place. It’s like being a guest at a wedding, where everyone knows each other and you’re in the corner thinking “When is this going to end?”.
I’d HATE to be a new blogger at a blogging conference, if you’re going to one, make sure you have a few blogging friends beforehand, it’s lonely otherwise.
One of the worst thing is watching how horribly people behave at these events. Bloggers clamour over the brands there, it’s embarrassing. Everyone seems SO keen to work with a coffee enema brand, or a diet tea brand. Things that they’d never normally be interested in, but as soon as it’s at a blogging conference, it becomes fascinating.
Watching these events on social media, you’ll see endless selfies at the stands.
“I LOVE THE NEW COFFEE ENEMA FROM “CAFFEINATED RING”!!!!!!! #BMLBUM”
Have some fucking respect for your blog, and yourself.
These brands aren’t really interested in you, your family, or your blog. They just want their hashtags and names out there, they want a quick social media fuck and will be off before the morning comes. I’ve never seen so many people fake interest in each other than I have with brands in between sessions. Sure, they’ve put something in your goody bag, but they’ll make damn sure they’ve had their way with you on Social Media.
If you’re going to fawn over a brand, make it a wine or cake brand, let them use you when you’re drunk or off your tits on sugar. At least you’ll get something in return.
Generally the people running the sessions leave me feeling a bit cold. I don’t really want or need advice from another blogger. I want to hear inspirational stories and life experiences from writers, journalists etc. Not humble (or not) brags from bellends, patronising advice, or stories about some woman’s fanny. I think the most PAINFUL thing of all is watching people being ‘funny’ – yeah, you might raise a titter from your mates, but on the whole – bloggers aren’t funny. If you want jokes at a blogging conference, get a comedian that blogs, don’t pay a blogger – we’re NOT funny.
The common theme of going to a blogging conference is generally the social aspect, it’s nice to meet with friends and drink.
Seriously though, do we NEED a blogging conference to do that? Can’t you just make arrangements to have a night off from parenting and go out with fellow bloggers? We’re all grown ups and big enough to do this without having to have the excuse of a ‘conference’ to go to. The fun stuff is usually the drinking and eating before or after a conference – not during. I’ve got a little group of blogging friends and I’d MUCH rather go for a drink and meal with them, without the bother and expense of a blogging conference.
Fuck it – who’s up for the Bloggers Anti-Conference? No cliques, no brands, no sessions, just food and drink?