Something I’ve noticed with a lot of Bloggers Blogs (and Twitter feeds) is a little bit of a ‘Stepford Wife Syndrome’ – if you’re unfamiliar with the term ‘Stepford Wife’ – Urban Dictionary is your friend..
“1.) Used to describe a servile, compliant, submissive, spineless wife who happily does her husband’s bidding and serves his every whim dutifully.
2.) Can also be used to describe a wife who is cookie-cutter & bland in appearance and behavior. Subscribes to a popular look and dares not deviate from that look.
This term is borrowed from the fictional suburb of Stepford, Connecticut in Ira Levin’s 1972 novel, The Stepford Wives, later made into movies (in 1975 and 2004). In the story, men of this seemingly ideal town have replaced their wives with attractive robotic dolls devoid of emotion or thought.”
Perhaps that’s a little harsh, but not too far wrong – so many bloggers from the outside seems to live perfect lives where Mum is constantly baking and has daaaaarrrrrling children who never misbehave (ever). It’s all rainbows and unicorns, and happy ever after.
Do people lead lives like this? Or is it garnish to make someone’s shit life look better or appealing to a passing reader? Or just some ‘aspirational reading’ ?
I’ve lived on this planet long enough to know, children can be little shits, your other half will annoy you, you’ll probably get drunk and do things you shouldn’t. You’ll be hurt and tested to your limits, but it will all get better in the end (and repeat).
Life is a beautiful colourful tapestry, a journey, a story – it’s so much more interesting to read the journey of a battle-scarred, believable person, than a beige painted ‘MumDroid 2000″.
Who are you kidding?
No one.
Some of the best bloggers out there are those who are HONEST with how they feel, and what’s going on with their lives. My three favourites for this are probably Wally Mummy, Mummy Never Sleeps and Jenny Edspire, who blog with absolutely honesty, you have no idea how much I respect I have for these three. They aren’t afraid to show their ‘life tapestry’ to the world, it’s not always easy reading – BUT it’s the truth – and you can’t knock anyone for writing with honesty.
Let’s be honest with each other, wear our scars with pride and respect each other a little more for being ‘Normal’, save the dull Stepford Wives Syndrome for the glossy, airbrushed, Lifestyle Mags.
Blog with Honesty!
I bought my other half a box of milk tray AND the most expensive co op flowers last weekend.
Later that night I went up for a bath, you never know tonight might be my night and all that.
The Mrs walked in, plonked her ass down on the crapper to do what she claims was a little wee, and proceeded to drop her guts in the pan.
Needless to say any hope of some jiggy jiggy was lost.
Who says romance is dead.
Agree though if you project your life to appear all rosy in your blogs the reality is probably something very different!
“I bought my other half a box of milk tray AND the most expensive co op flowers last weekend”
Co op flowers are one step up from petrol station flowers. Your Mrs has standards, obvs.
Hope she didn’t flush. 😉
Lol – they cost 10 squids and are still going a week later – re flushing i didnt give her a chance as id already hightailed it out of there!
Hit the nail on the head there Kip.
I tend not to read the blogs with the pictures of perfect cupcakes and the “how to” guides which show well-behaved kids doing arts and crafts in a sickeningly-tidy house that looks like it just stepped out of an Ikea catalogue.
It just makes me feel shit that my house looks like it was just visited by the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse (and the horses took a dump on my carpet!)
And my kids can’t stop fighting long enough to enjoy finger-painting.
But then I realise we’re a normal family – and I take those perfect blogs with a pinch of salt.
LMFAO – you are so funny Kip 😉 And thank you for such a nice shout-out :))) x You should put yourself in there too! I think you have a very open, honest blog also xx
Depends why you blog. As I so often say, the only ‘rule’ in blogging is that you do what makes you happy. For some parents I think blogging is about sharing the tough moments, and getting support and sympathy and solidarity – and sometimes being able to laugh about them, too.
But plenty of people use their blogs to capture memories of family life for themselves and their children to look back on in future. If that’s why you blog, then you do want to capture the happy times, the special memories – and why not?
I don’t think either approach is better than the other – providing a blog makes someone happy, then I think it’s all good.
Personally, I’m very happy to be open about my shortcomings on my blog, but not so much about my daughter’s. I’m conscious I’m creating a digital footprint for my child, without her informed consent. So I think I have an obligation to blog respectfully about her, and with half an eye on what she might think about my posts when she’s older.
(Hope this doesn’t end up in spam, my comments never seem to show up on your blog!)
I have to agree with the lady above.
I ‘keeps it real’ on my blog regarding moi but I try not to alienate my sons because, when all is said and done, my old age is in their hands and I don’t want them signing the papers to have me shoved in Shady Pines because they got the hump about my blog.
I’ve blogged a lot about my Mum & that has probably cost me some followers but tough tits- it’s helped me to get through the pain of losing her. Essentially, the blog is for me. It’s nice to have some positive feedback and it’s nice to know that you made someone laugh but you have to be true to yourself when blogging because you really can’t please ’em all so you might as well please yourself.
Glad I found your blog Mr Kip. I do enjoy a larf! 🙂
Nope, dunno what you’re on about. I’m second from the left in that photo.
Thank you so much for mentioning me x My blog is a bit all over the place at the moment x I am glad that people are sticking with me x I am glad that you are x Thank you x You have also made me realise that my reading of blogs is very lax and I am missing out on some great reads – like yours x
What Sally said!
The reason I started my blog was as a place for me to share my battles with my anxiety, depression and poor health and also as a way to capture memories. I have found over the last year that I take a lot more photos for example.
I don’t share so much the battles I have on a daily basis with Harry at the moment. He is 3 years old. It isn’t fair on him in my opinion. I may send the odd tweet of exasperation and that is plenty enough, probably too much some times.
I don’t share the problems my marriage is currently going through because my husband is VERY private, so I talk about them with other people I trust.
I’m far, far, FAR from perfect. I do enjoy reading the blogs by those who are awesome at baking and come up with awesome things to do with their children, and I am often in awe of their creativity but I often come away feeling that I am a bit rubbish when it comes to doing that kind of thing with my own children. I’m more likely to blog about the things that go wrong, than when I have got it right! x
What about those of us that are just perfect for real…..? 😉 x
I’ve found that the most popular posts I’ve written have been the ones where things have been going down the pan. It’s easier to relate to someone who’s having a difficult time than it is to someone who’s always sweetness and light!
Love this, what a great post. As a struggling new blogger, I was feeling a bit defeated against the tidal wave of Mrs Perfects. But I’m starting to feel more confident about being real, and I much prefer to read someone else who shows their imperfections with pride too.
I agree with Marylin some of my most read posts are ones where I am having a moan/meltdown/I’ve got the naughtiest child on earth moment! I love reading those type of blogs too.
People like to read what goes on in the real world and nod their heads sympathetically because they have gone through it too! At least that’s what I hope they are doing when reading my blog ….,. :/
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