One Born Every Minute – Televised Labour Pornography

I’m not a fan of One Born Every Minute, Channel Four’s ‘Televised Labour Pornography’ as I lovingly think of it, it’s reality TV gone one step too far.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a spot of reality TV – those who know me well will know I’m a MASSIVE Big Brother Geek, but given the choice of watching Dappy from the NDubz playing with his ridiculously sized penis, or watching a slightly blurred perineum tearing, I’m all over Dappy’s cock (not literally!)

My first experience of OBEM was one Christmas, I vaguely recall it was on during the day for a ‘Christmas Special’ – assuming that you wouldn’t see much on daytime television, I was horrified to watch the newborn of woman I didn’t know the name of plopping out in my lounge after a Christmas lunch. I really didn’t *get* why anyone would actually want to see this, at that time I was the father of one. G was born by emergency C-Section – the birth unexpected and rushed, and before I knew it, I had my tiny little miracle in my arms. It wasn’t a particularly traumatic experience (well for me at least) – by the time I’d got my scrubs on and by her mother’s side, most of the ‘work’ had been done.

Despite this, it wasn’t an experience I fancied repeating, it was scary and stressful, I had no idea what was going on.

Similarly when J was born nearly two years ago, the labour was so quick and intense, there just wasn’t any time to think – it took the midwife tea by surprise and before I knew it, my little boy was in the world!

Labour either way is a wonderful thing, but, it’s something that’s horrible to watch, someone you love and care about is in such pain and stress and there is very little you can do.

What baffles me is why the desire to watch someone else, who you have no vested interest in, giving birth on your television screen. It’s not like the babies are that cute – newborns are pretty ugly at the best of times, heck ‘ J’s cone head had me worried he’d look like a dropped Cornetto for life. I’m not overly enamoured by the vernix covered sexcrement of a stranger, I’m sure they’ll look adorable in a few days, but right after their first lung full of air?

No. I don’t want to see.

I’m not an old misery in the slightest, nothing quite beats the smell of a baby but I really don’t think a prime time slot (easy!) on Channel 4 is an appropriate time or place to watch a some poor random women in the most pain they’ll probably ever experience. Channel 4 DROPPED Big Brother to invest more money in a better class of entertainment, in its place we’ve got Televised Labour Pornography, Gypsy Weddings, Sex Box and Benefits Street, yep that’s definitely money well spent.